I want to share something I have been thinking about. It relates to limitations and expectations and, yes, my Rett Syndrome. Allow me to elaborate with this story.
Recently I was asked by a friend to participate in a Rett event by using my actual speaking voice to read a script. While I do have some very minimal phrases and words I can say, and am working towards more all the time, I knew that this script of several sentences would be no match for my apraxia. But something told me not to say “no” right away. Something made me want to at least try. Something within my most hopeful place thought, “maybe, this will make something click. Maybe the stars will align and Mercury will be in retrograde, the wind will change, and the correct words will come spilling out of my mouth.” And can you believe what happened?
It didn’t work. I tried with my amazing speech therapist to tackle the new phrases and I completely froze up. We tried again but still no words came. In the end, I wrote to my friend and told him that unfortunately, this task at hand was considerably beyond my current speech abilities.
You know what, the outcome would have been the same if I hadn’t tried at all, and you might be thinking that I could have avoided some discouragement and frustration and the feeling of having failed. The difference is that by not trying at all, I would be telling myself that I couldn’t do it so why bother. However, a failed attempt is still an attempt and that feels so much better than limiting yourself.
I believe I will speak with ease one day, however much hard work it takes. And I know I will not be fearful to shout out a confident, “let’s go for it!” when new opportunities come my way.